It’s been four days of reflection on what was said, of thinking about how it applies to my life, of where I want and need to make changes. Like I said in one of my first posts, nothing that was said is anything new or anything that we all don’t already know in our hearts and souls but still, they were all things that bear repeating. They were all things that were put into perspective….some were conveyed in just the right words at just the right times to create those “Aha” moments that Oprah loves to talk about. I already shared my initial impressions but here are the top 5 lessons that have stayed with me and resonated with me throughout these past few days.
1) Learn from your past and move on: Everyone has a past but your past only really matters if you are still living there. You can’t let a negative past bring you down and rule your life, nor can you ignore it. You need to learn from it and move on. I need to say that one again because for me, it’s vitally important: Learn from your past and move on. I know so many people in my life, including myself, who say they have moved on but really, if you continue to bring up a situation from the past, if you continue to resent someone who has wronged you, you have NOT moved on. You are still living there in the past.
2) Decisions determine your destiny: Tony Robbins said, “Decisions, not conditions, determine your destiny. Your biography is not your destiny. Rather, it’s your decisions that create your destiny.” Your decisions are based on your story and your state (your past along with the current story you are living in and the state that you are currently in physically, mentally, emotionally). If your current story isn’t working for you, then change it. Stop holding onto it and change it. To change your story, you may need to change your outlook. Let go of the negative and focus on the positive. You may need to change your surroundings. Perhaps the home you live in, the city you live in, the job you are in aren’t really working for you – stop holding onto them. You become like the people you hang out with so you need to reflect on who you are spending your time with and you may need to make changes in order to change your story.
3) Know when you deserve better and make a breakthrough: It’s healthy to realize when a situation isn’t good enough – to know when you deserve better. Many times we stay in a bad situation because it has become our comfort zone. If we want to succeed and grow, we need to take risks. Step out of that comfort zone and move forward with your vision. When you make the decision that enough is enough, that’s when you need to make a breakthrough. To make a breakthrough, you need to apply Tony Robbins’ Three S’s – State, Story, and Strategy. State – Change your state. Having a bad day/month/year? Tony says that emotion is created by motion in the body. Frowning and sulking and hiding under your blankets in bed simply perpetuate the state that you are in. The fastest way of changing your state is by changing your body so put a big smile on your face, hold your head up high, put those shoulders back, be confident, celebrate your life. Tony reminded us that when we were children, we celebrated everything and anything. Why did we stop celebrating? Why not start again? Celebrate your life and all of the good things in it!!! Story – Change your story and change your life. You don’t have to live in the story you’ve been telling yourself. Remember – you are not defined by your past. You don’t have to keep living in it. Strategy - Create a strategy for moving forward with your vision.
4) Nurture your vision: Have a vision. No, really. KNOW what your vision is. Make sure it’s YOUR vision, not someone else’s vision for you. And be sure that you haven’t created a vision out of fear. Iyanla had a great analogy about how she had her vision checked and was shocked to find out that she needed glasses. She thought her vision was perfect but instead she was only seeing at about 70% and her eyes were adjusting to the deficiency. We need to do a self-check and be sure that we are living the life we really want – if not, we need to form a vision that accurately reflects what we truly want for ourselves. Once you have that vision, you must nurture it. Affirm your vision on a daily basis. Use positive affirmations saying “I am” not “I’ll try”. Clarify your vision by checking in with yourself regularly. Just because you have set a vision for yourself doesn’t mean that you are locked into it. Be sure that your vision still fits, know why you’re doing what you’re doing, and set out specific steps that you are going to take in order to bring your vision to life. Take time to be still and silent. Listen. Listen to that small still voice inside and allow the answers to come to you, instead of begging for them.
5) Have a problem? STOP!: Iyanla gave us these steps to follow when faced with a difficult situation: Stop and smile. Take a deep breath. Observe – what’s happening within your own mind and body? What’s happening around you? Proceed with kindness. And I would add, rinse and repeat….sometimes a situation is so stressful that perhaps one run-through of this procedure isn’t enough to quiet my inner voice – the one running that script from my past over and over that wants me to react immediately.
I’d love to know – what are your favourite Oprah Lifeclass lessons (either from the most recent one or from any in the past)?