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You are here: Home / INSPIRE / In Solitude

November 20, 2014 By Cyn Gagen Leave a Comment

In Solitude

Filed Under: INSPIRE Tagged With: solitude

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beach15pic_thumb“I have to be alone very often. I’d be quite happy if I spent from Saturday night until Monday morning alone in my apartment. That’s how I refuel.” (Audrey Hepburn: Many-Sided Charmer, LIFE Magazine, December 7, 1953)

I get this. The feeling of needing to be alone, of needing that time to yourself to refuel is all very familiar to me. Even when I was a kid, I was a bit of a loner. (That’s how I always seem to phrase it to people – a bit of a loner because anything more I fear would elicit images from the movies of the crazy hermit). As a child and even into my teenage years, I fought this tendency. It didn’t feel “normal”. At times, my feelings were hurt because I didn’t have as many friends as others and I would wonder what was wrong with me. I wanted to be the “popular girl” – or so I thought.

de-montaigneAs an adolescent, I formed quite a few friendships and was even a part of the “cool kids” group. That should have made me happy right? It was what I had always craved. And yet, I came to realize that some of those times when I was little and I felt all alone, I actually wasn’t upset about it. I tried to convince myself that I was lonely…that I should be lonely. But I really wasn’t. And in those times filled with the raucous laughter of friends, often what I really wished for deep inside was solitude.

in-solitudeOver the years, I’ve grown to accept, even treasure the loner in me. She loves deeply, cares greatly, feels strongly. She is happy and optimistic and easy-going. Time alone feeds my soul, replenishes my mind, and soothes my heart.

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